after the snow today....

Currently reading the new book of aphorisms by Nassim Nicholas Taleb: 'The Bed of Procrustes'

Currently reading the new book of aphorisms by Nassim Nicholas Taleb: 'The Bed of Procrustes'

A friend highly recommended Taleb's earlier book "The Black Swan" to me and will be lending it to me soon.

I have been a lover of aphorisms for several years now, especially ever since another friend introduced me to the Zurau aphorisms of Franz Kafka.

Here is a great review/some thoughts on aphorisms in response to "The Bed of Procrustes". Though I suppose if I really want you to read it, I should say it's overrated.

http://gerardat3am.blogspot.com/2010/12/getting-into-bed-with-aphorist-on.html

A few of my favorite aphorisms that Gerard didn't mention:

"Engineers can compute but not define, mathematicians can define but not compute, economists can neither define nor compute."

"The best revenge on a liar is to convince him that you believe what he said."

"A good maxim allows you to have the last word without even starting a conversation." (my note: thank you Kant!)

"Most so-called writers keep writing and writing with the hope to, some day, find something to say."

"The imagination of the genius vastly surpasses his intellect; the intellect of the academic vastly surpasses his imagination"

"For Seneca, the Stoic sage should withdraw from public efforts when unheeded and the state is corrupt beyond repair. It is wiser to wait for self-destruction."

"They think that intelligence is about noticing things that are relevant (detecting patterns); in a complex world, intelligence consists in ignoring things that are irrelevant (avoiding false patterns)."

"The left holds that because markets are stupid models should be smart; the right believes that because models are stupid markets should be smart. Alas, it never hit both sides that both markets and models are very stupid."

radical acceptance quote by Elizabeth Edwards:

"Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it's less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good."

park slope laundry

you’re sitting by the laundromat one day in late spring
the dew is resting on a patch of grass by entrance,
not quite a washing machine
but lovely to skim toes through.
You give a grin and hand me your change
remark on our luck it has not yet rained

sorting pinks, whites and baby blues
like sorting memories wearing wooden shoes
in lavender cotton with topstitched hems
like losing lovers and finding friends

this dear, looks like it needs a little bleach
don’t forget the softener honey
It’s right there—within reach.

Lying spread out on a dryer
feeling the steady churning vibrate
deep within our bones
look
there is the door for the six floor walk up across the street
wonder if anyone’s home

look at that lovely Klimt print
in window above the pizzeria
with that postmodern lamp
I daresay it’s from Ikea.

Perhaps they have hummels in their living room,
their pantry’s stocked with gin
Saul Bellow on their shelf,
And lime-green tiles in the kitchen

maybe we could drop in
and have coffee with these lovely folks
in their quaint Brooklyn residence
on Seventh Avenue
a nice conversation with strangers
feels so long overdue

No, you say
the lights are off.
They are surely gone.
Let’s grab our laundry
And head on home.
For some coffee and bagels and the sorting of socks.

you come from Harmony

in Nova Scotia

where the winter warms your mind

and ocean swirls around your pale legs

in these Maritimes

pulling Glasgow from your warm blanket in the eager sand

so cold for August and such a dark blue

in the shipwreck

some call your eyes

saffron and gingham cheerfully greet the corridors of Mendham

where your kitten clings to your frock

as you balance your groceries from one arm to the other

The loaf of bread falls gently to the pavement

Do you remember

remember St. Laurent and Rue Des Pins

on an autumn day

when you lost your friend

it came to an end

and you turned away

this is too precious

this is too precious to sacrifice for pain

you reach for the wooden spoon and taste the tomato

on your spine

memories of harmony

gardens by the sea

don’t fret

this is too precious

too precious to give up

feel it like the waves of Nova Scotia

swirling round your legs

This is too precious

Poetry 2006-2010 will be included in this new series....

First, a poem not written by me, but a favorite poem by my lovely and deceased grandmother, Ione Brooks Newgaard:

Sometimes we watch the days go by, wishing they could last.
And we can't help but wonder why time must fly so fast.
But we can keep in memory happy moments left behind.
And we can keep our special dreams of joys we hope to find.
And if we do the best we can through everyday live.
If we consider what we have as what we have to give.
If we will try to see some good in all that comes our way,
Then we will feel contentment at the end of every day.
For then we will have mastered that very special art of
growing rich in happiness while staying young at heart.

-Anonymous

"the key is balance" (flickr: peacock balancing on a chair- by fishflix- Jeanette Lowe)


you know how its the quite interesting phenomenon how when reads the DSM-IV that one tends to automatically think "oh no, I have this psychiatric disorder! and this one! and this one! or maybe this one!"

well anyway, I've always had this bizarre but unsubstantiated suspicion that maybe 5% of me has Borderline Personality Disorder. Or at least when I read about it and its emotional lability, as well as inability to integrate polarities, I can relate to a certain degree.
So today I discovered Marsha Linehan and her "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy" which was specifically designed to treat individuals with BPD. In many ways similar to Cognitive Behavorial Therapy (a form of therapy I am very familiar with), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy" also integrates the Buddhist concept of mindfulness and the ancient-Greek derived (though also found in Hindu and Buddhist thought) concept of Dialectics.
I realized I didn't know very much about Dialectics and what they were.

Here is an interesting paragraph on the origin of Dialectics and how, in a way, it is applied in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy:

The term 'dialectical' is derived from classical philosophy. It refers to a form of argument in which an assertion is first made about a particular issue (the 'thesis'), the opposing position is then formulated (the 'antithesis' ) and finally a 'synthesis' is sought between the two extremes, embodying the valuable features of each position and resolving any contradictions between the two. This synthesis then acts as the thesis for the next cycle. In this way truth is seen as a process which develops over time in transactions between people. From this perspective there can be no statement representing absolute truth. Truth is approached as the middle way between extremes.

The dialectical approach to understanding and treatment of human problems is therefore non-dogmatic, open and has a systemic and transactional orientation. The dialectical viewpoint underlies the entire structure of therapy, the key dialectic being 'acceptance' on the one hand and 'change' on the other. Thus DBT includes specific techniques of acceptance and validation designed to counter the self-invalidation of the patient. These are balanced by techniques of problem solving to help her learn more adaptive ways of dealing with her difficulties and acquire the skills to do so. Dialectical strategies underlie all aspects of treatment to counter the extreme and rigid thinking encountered in these patients. The dialectical world view is apparent in the three pairs of 'dialectical dilemmas' already described, in the goals of therapy and in the attitudes and communication styles of the therapist which are to be described.The therapy is behavioural in that, without ignoring the past, it focuses on present behaviour and the current factors which are controlling that behaviour.

(source: http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=1020)

I think regardless of mental health diagnoses, as humans we all tend to struggle with polarities, discrepancies in thought, dichotomies in feelings and concepts. According to famous BPD theoriest Otto Kernberg (who a friend of mine had the pleasure of meeting) there are two chief tasks in early childhood one must achieve to be functional adults. The first is differentiating oneself from the world and others. (psychic clarification of self and other)

The second is to "overcome splitting". This task requires one to be able to realize that not all things are put into black and white categories, such as "good" or "bad", "nice" or "mean", "red" or "blue" etc. For example, someone can see oneself as being both good and bad at the same. This task of "overcoming splitting" is the stage which Kernberg theorizes those with BPD never were able to fully acheive. In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Linehan uses this system of dialectics to approach the cognitive distortions and "splitting" of life into black and white categories and aids one in reaching a more nuanced, holistic and integrated perception of oneself, one's experiences, and the world around oneself. Avoiding either extreme, it brings to mind the Buddhist concept of the "middle path".

Or as a friend of mine likes to say, "the key is balance".

Ibsen wrote in a letter to his French translator in 1890,

"The title of the play is 'Hedda Gabler'.  My intention in giving it this
name was to indicate that Hedda, as a personality, is to be regarded
rather as her father's daughter than as her husband's wife.
It was not my desire to deal in this play with so-called problems.
What I principally wanted to do was to depict human beings,
human emotions, and human destinies, upon a groundwork of
certain of the social conditions and principles of
the present day."

So I went to see Mary-Louise Parker in Hedda Gabler on Tuesday.
A bit disappointed by the performances, but MLP was brilliant as
always, and I was stunned by the play's depiction of power dynamics,
what one will do when driven by such a desire for power,
and Hedda's "cowardly" inability to trascend her societal circumstances.

HEDDA.
[Looks up at him.]  So I am in your power, Judge Brack.
You have me at your beck and call,
from this time forward.


BRACK.
[Whispers softly.]  Dearest Hedda--
believe me--I shall not abuse my
advantage.


HEDDA.
I am in your power none the less.
Subject to your will and your
demands.  A slave, a slave then!
[Rises impetuously.]  No, I cannot
endure the thought of that!  Never!


BRACK.
[Looks half-mockingly at her.]  People
generally get used to the
inevitable.

HEDDA.
[Returns his look.]  Yes, perhaps.

the faith of john lennon


mp3: John Lennon- God (link removed)

According to Buddhist and Hindu scholar and philosopher Alan Watts in his book The Wisdom of Insecurity, to "believe" is often to have a specific, limiting doctrine or creed to which you are clinging--something which is actually, well, not real. It is like trying to put a gallon of water inside of a paper parcel and mail it to a friend. Instead one must immerse oneself in the river.

On the other hand, "faith" is embracing the river: its perhaps indefinite, amorphous nature and all. Perhaps this is something like Paul Tillich's "ground of all being", though that might be a bit of a stretch in mixing such metaphors.

Watts writes, "And the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging to belief, of holding on."

Faith is letting go in trusting and embracing the uncertainty of life and reality, embracing the numinous but terrifying "ultimateness" of existence and experience.

Watts writes in The Wisdom of Insecurity, "But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be. "

As different as Watts and Tillich are in ideology and tradition, I think they both embraced something with similar roots. In many ways I see Watt's surrendering to existence and being itself as different words for Tillich's immanent, infinite, and transcendent.

For me, John Lennon's song God is all about letting go and surrender, about choosing faith over belief.

God

God is a concept by which we can measure our pain.

I'll say it again,

God is a concept by which we can measure our pain.

I don't believe in magic,
I don't believe in I-ching,

I don't believe in Bible,

I don't believe in tarot,

I don't believe in Hitler,

I don't believe in Jesus,

I don't believe in Kennedy,

I don't believe in Buddha,

I don't believe in mantra,

I don't believe in Gita,

I don't believe in yoga,

I don't believe in kings,

I don't believe in Elvis,

I don't believe in Zimmerman,

I don't believe in Beatles,

I just believe in me.

Yoko and me.

And that's reality.

The dream is over, what can I say?

The dream is over.

Yesterday, I was dreamweaver, but now I'm reborn.

I was the walrus, but now I'm John.

And so dear friends,

You just have to carry on,

The dream is over.

musing of the day, courtesy of the one and only "veronica mars":

"Why bother with something not good just because it's something?...
Especially when you know the difference, which not many people do.
You see, I think that's like ninety percent of life, just knowing the difference."