been feeling better...

Guy: So I just wrote, 'John Locke was a great guy.'
Girl: That's all you wrote? How many points did you get?
Guy: He gave me eight out of ten! He must have felt sorry for me.
Girl: Wow. I hope the professors at my school are that easy.

--Fordham University, Lincoln Center

no, that wasn't me. my profs aren't that easy.




Comedy club promoter: Hey, you guys want free beers and some laughs?
Teen tourists' chaperone: They're underage.
Comedy club promoter: How about free sodas and a few giggles?




Friendly young clerk: It's terrible news about Vonnegut, isn't it?
Old woman: I think he deserved to be fired! He shouldn't be saying that racist stuff on the radio!

--Thrift Shop, 23rd & 3rd